AKu Juga beGitu

T__T

betul la orang cakap, semakin kita membesar, kiter terpaksa mengorbankan ape yg kita impikan, ape yg kita hasratkan.. kadang2 rase sia2 gak, tapi nak wat camne, sumenyer telah ditentukan... smoga diriku diberi kekuatan untuk menghadapi semua ini... amin....

pokjat -RIP
Aku tengok balik kate2 pokjat nih,kate2 terakhir dia...aku pon rase walau terseksa mana pon..aku kne tahan...aku ngan dier xde la rapat sgt...mungkin aku xsuker join group2 kat UTP...aku lebih suker wat keje sensorang....dan join group kat tenet....aku gak tak join pasal tak tahan ngan senior aku yg bajet bagus abes....so byk la reasons aaa...

ape2 pon...keep smiling....common :D

Perhaps...this is not my place either

Few people in this world know feels truly despise.. and i'm just in that group...can you blame us?

The best part of university study is internship .. which is what i'm facing currently now... despite of what i should have...i find kind of it happen via-versa..... Lately i feel everything such a mess..so much problems around me...i also don't sure how to synchronize the flow of my life anymore..I wish i could turn back the time..,i want to stop myself in the past for making decision to be such 'good student' ..i want to ask myself in the past to copy assignments,and send assignment that can guarantee me to get high marks...copy in test...and do whatever it should..which is a desire that alive for sudden inside me, to become "normal student".i also want to stop myself in the past stay up in the morning studding like hell about Linux , programming, security , hacking and i want to stop myself from involve in open source activities..and only do whatever necessary to get great pointer...that wish appears again..and again..and again..in my mind...no matter how much i try to convince myself that i have choose the right path...i feel i still regret for what i have now.. this stupid wish most of the time creating useless imagination in my mind..disturb my concentration of doing works...

Today i meet office-mate's friend(assume his friend name is Z),who currently working for PETRONAS Bangi. As i could recall,i noted today as one of history in my life because occur the longest conversation ever happen between us at lunch break. We spend 3 hours talking about Z job problem only .Why? he said he merely survive every month because of low salary from PETRONAS. He said his salary can't even support his loan,petrol and food ...He compared this situation with his previous working place,which he said he got around 4k/month where it totally covers more than enough..

I said how come that situation can happen..from what i heard basic salary for Petronas worker at starting is 3.5k..is that not enough??....then he replied that is true for degree holder...which is totally differ for diploma holder, 1.2k a month...

then for sudden the attention change to me....they start asking how much do i get and what kind of works that i'm doing right now. I point it the amount and describe a bit about my works....which is of course most of parts are learning,not much contributing to company. He said i should be grateful ... having such great place and great allowance ..etc...My office mates also keep reminding me that after he pay his car loan,home loan,go back to hometown...etc...his salary basically just similar with me even he is permanent worker and I'm just period trainee...i smiled..and speechless....deep in my heart...there is something hurting me so much for sudden.....and i don't know why... and i try my best to hide from them!

Perhaps it is because i feel they see me as a robot...while they are doing normal human life...i do have loan to pay,phone bills...petrol...i do need to buy something sometime that desperately forcing me to borrow money for that. I do have home that i need to go back to see my father,mother,brother and sister....but nobody seems to care about that..i don't ask them to care either....i just ask them to step in my shoes and understand that I'm also living thing...i have much more thing to think rather than spending money for food only..

I know and they don't need to keep remind me the same thing...which is i get that based on my work..I'm just trainee anyway...why hope to get much...i already said before i never care about how much i get...as long i can survive...but can i really survive now?they are right..i should not claim much..their points are accurate and precise..no doubt..but there is a point that they miss..

it is not that I'm not able to play role of contributing..it is just that i don't get works . If i can't do something...i can learn...if i do something wrong..i can correct it..and won't repeat the same mistake...but nobody seems to allows that..

so here right now...i don't know what should i do..except crying alone at night...except searching place to work part-time at night ...except to regret the path that i choose at night..

I feel really useless..blur...and feel like i'm freezing right now...every step that i walk feel so heavy and full of regret.... but i still believe...there is of course sometime good is waiting for me...this painful,burden just for a while...i need to keep smiling...survive..no matter what...

I swear i will make sure i will get those certificate no matter what, and i'm sure those certificates will pay back my sacrifices before this...it will sort the mess.....and it will convince myself that I'm not wrong by choosing this path....

so I'm waiting to see....how it should goes from now on...

so I'm waiting to see...how it turn to be 'hikmah' at the end..

ISLAM true story :: DOES GOD really exist?

AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION .
An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new students to stand and .....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't.

How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?
Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?
Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.



Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.

But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.

There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.

Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.

You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....

But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it?

In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God.

You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor,

are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The
class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? (The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir? (The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
> .
> .
> .
> .
> . WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS
> .
> .
> .

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, the present president of India.

Difference ..Differ....DUMBASS

When Albert Einstein was a high school student, his teachers didn't think he would amount to much. He was a daydreamer with mediocre grades. He dropped out of high school, and he had to take remedial classes before he could pass the entrance exams for the Zurich Polytechnic Institute (LINK)



DO YOU KNOW what is difference between Aristotle and Einstein ?

well, you might say a lot....but actually the only thing that totally contradict them is Aristotle is glamour for only know talking/motivate people ....while Einstein was such problematic student but contribute to human race technology development...

Imagine if MLM business was start at Aristotle century ....i think Aristotle is famous as MLM millionaire rather than philosopher..WTF?


huh?what?you said Einstein is not ordinary guy?...we should not dream to be like him..?i don't think so...what's about Bill Gates? and you can name other losers at university level but turn out to be totally awesome at their working...!!!

WHY?why?WHY?

the truth is....

1.If you are my Juniors (ICT students)..have you ever ask any hard programming questions to your senior ????(incase if Google failed to help you plagiarism other website coding for your assigment and the assignment seems never appears in previous sem)

if you are chinese most probably your senior will try their best to help you even in the end also not able to help you ...but if not, the best help they(seniors) would only give is useless clue..that would never help!
examples::

1.you should read back chapter 5,
2.Your coding style is so mess up...fix it first !!
3.do make revision for bla...bla..bla

I'm sure I'm wrong....but still want to give those seniors

                          88888
                          8   8
                          8   8 
                          8   8
                          8   8 
                          8   8
                    888888     888888   
                    

NOTED THAT the answers is not that important !!but look at their effort/concern....!

I experienced walking around lecturer rooms asking Internet Programming lab question that i'm not able to do accurately at that time and ofcourse nobody in my course done it yet(while my Internet programming lecturer is not around in that week)...Probably most of us waiting to copy other students works..like always.You know what is the result?it turns out that we(UTP) only have one lecturer for Internet programming ..!!!!! and the best part is where never I ask other programming lecturers ..nobody ever even bother to look at the question...but only ask..

for(Genius Lecturer = 1; LastQuestions >= theRestOf RelatedLecturer ;
AskEachProgrammingLecturer ++)
{

I'm the dumbass student :: Hi , Do you mind to help me solve Internet programming 
                        :: question ?I have done the code,but the code seems keep 
                        :: showing errors but i  don't understand
Genius Lecturer         :: Where is your Internet programming lecturer?
I'm the dumbass student :: My lecturer is outstation this week for meeting
Genius Lecturer         :: Just wait for him to come back
I'm the dumbass student :: THANK YOU 
                                                                        }

did their PhD or Master or even Degree only learned specific programming language?did they already give up / ignore the student question after knowing that is not their area of expertise ?then what the hell on earth we are being forced to learn a lots of programming but by the end forgot everything like we never heard of it????

I end up asking post-graduate students..but he said give him a bit time...around 1 or 2 days..to figure it out after spend 2 hours but still blur..THE good news is... i never EVER meet that guy in that post-graduate room again after that DAY,perhaps he already DEAD cause of heart attack knowing that his brain doesn't seems macthing his perfect degree certificate !...

so lastly I solved it somehow after waited my only and THE ONLY one Internet programming lecturer ever exist in UTP come back from his 1 week meeting....


If you are my Genius seniors...don't hate me for revealing the truth ..
i know actually it is not that you don't want to help...but you scare / realized that you also not able to solve the question(even before seeing the question)...and to keep your pride as Dean list scorer for every seems...that answer is the most probably the best...!


How do i know? NO,NO,NO...it is definitely not assumption !....we can see it based on internship program ! most of ICT students will go for managements stuffs..Only small group will go for web designing...the only course that might a bit related to previous learning is Internet programming (it is NOT related if you use dreamweaver of front page for building webpage) ...and there is really tiny group people will go for programming / technical where related most of courses for Information ,Communication and technology (ICT) ...


Who am I?NO, NO....i never claim to be expert in anything and I'm not even those really genius student who scores dean lists. I'm just merely average student,who needs to work half dead for what i believe in. The only thing for sure,i do make sure those knowledge that i learned....is never merely to show how good pointers in the paper is....but it will be always there,exist internal in my head for the rest of my life!!


So please ...before you curse me for the rest of your life...lets us think again..are we really taking the right path for our future ?Is this what we are mean to be?