It is not what can....it is what i'm able to do?

No matter how hard you try to forget me....

i will try as hard as i can to remember you....

no matter how pain you put me in....

i only know how sweet your smile is....

perhaps....We are just not destined to be together.....it is not "what can" i do

it is "what i'm able" to do?

NoboDy KnoWs wHo I'M:Part 2:The HeLL GaTe Just OpeneD

The truth is..UTP spent God knows how much on Symantec and Novell product. But none of it really works. We always stuck on error every now and then. Bet it,
DNS border manager error, or symantec overloaded is just normal. Either the products are faulty or the admins are dumb.

MoreOver, Our IT department think by reducing student internet usage can help fasten internet...within that they spend a lots of money to accomplish that goal,monitoring network...so for this purpose...network filter used ...NetworkBox arriveD ....yes,that system really works...but it is even make network become slower...

Guess what?the system only restrict student that qualified to be monitored..and only catch people that deserved to be caught ...what is that mean?..
They only catch idiots...idiots that don't know how to think wise...they catch idiots that don't know how to cover their track..they only catch Script kiddie that claim to be expert hacker!There was a time i heard from script kiddie said

"You know what?last week ITMS came to my house and check our connection usage..oh no...we are near to be caught",

somebody said that proudly.I just smile and walk a way,deep in my heart...
"This dumbass proud to be detected ..i wish him good luck.. -sigh-"



The problem is..IT department overlook the situation...they can get better or bigger internet bandwidth if they spend those money in right way...and use correct open source product for their internet management,which required self-setting...but then...none of them are capable doing that..so they decide to waste money for something that they can get equally for free/lower price...their egoistic also too strong...which kills the needs for asking IT expert students.

Back to the track...i start asking in forum...searching for solutions ...the first question as far as i remember is this on November 28th, 2006 at 8:39 pm .The 2nd post followed is this


Yes...That DumBAss Was ME!HowEver 1 respond :

1. Use Tor
2.Here's the idea: Different protocols handle data in different ways, but you can generally manage to transport the data for one protocol over another. (For example, an SSH session can be transported over HTTPS.) This is what I call protocol tunneling -- I don't think that's the actual name. If you set up a tunnel between your computer and an off-campus friend's computer, using a protocol that only transmits data in small chunks. I don't know enough about the various protocols and tools to know how one would construct this system, but it is definitely within the range of possibility.

From answer replied...i know there are 2 ways to solve my problem..first is of course using Tor. At that time there are only few people from my University know how to use tor...so the download speed is not really bad.Meanwhile...i also struggle how to speed it up ..so i learned a lots from that..like elite proxy, elite proxy switcher ,OpenDns, Local DNS cache..etc...

After a while,my interest change to second option..but i'm sorry i can't write anything relating second option because it is illegal , & can lead to academic dismissaL ..at least in my university

Own Research K!!


At first i really wish to introduce linux to my folks..i start asking around...up flayers promoting linux....sadly it turns out just few people interest with it...because many students think linux is sooooo complicated...all they want is short cut!



so i decided to move on my learning..
-a(0N3-

Then..I also wonder about hacking..what it really is..and how i'm able to be one...where can i found article or somebody to teach me? i found Nubuntu,and did explore few network software..but then it seems already arrived at the end of semester...



2o07-New Sem, New year.. 19th of February 2007, 16:21 GMT - ProtecH released...This awesome distribution really help me a lots exploring networking world..especially i'm able to compare with previous analysis related tor and tunnel...few weeks later..i become one of the moderator in protech forum.It really boost me up to explore networking in deep....Thank You P1nT4S !

Sadly...Protech main developers seems disappeared for sudden and next version hang in the middle...



few months later...Backtrack start become popular hacking distribution...many hacking video demonstrated using backtrack too...so i decided to give a try ..



(To Be ConTiNuEd) (Last ChaPteR)

Turn Back The p3nDuLuM

If tHeRe WaS t1m3 i saY "HI"
N0W is the timE i Say "Bye"


Sob..sob...xdpt menahan kesedihan...hurm..lg bape ari da nk tinggalkn tmpt nih..so ble kte nk kuar ni...kte asyik terkenangkn time msuk...sme la..ble rse nk mati...mesti kenangnkn time kecik3...

so ak xle recall korang sume...kang float blog nih..tp ak recall la sesape yg rse terpikir skrng...

CarriCk - Micheal Carrick London

hak3...dlu dier gne nick carrick..pastu tuka kt gtalk tambah london tu..ak xtaw psal pe..so siapa Carrick nih? dier ni hardworking student giler....roomate dier Hilary gi sport ke ,jenjalan ke...dier msti study...

ResPect!
first conversation gtlak yg best! Tuesday , 22 May 2007

(02:25:03) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: weh
(02:25:07) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: sape nih...?
(02:25:15) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim:
(02:25:23) michealcarrick@gmail.com: wey
(02:25:28) michealcarrick@gmail.com: aku la
(02:25:41) michealcarrick@gmail.com: jungle killler
(02:25:44) michealcarrick@gmail.com: wolf
(02:25:52) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: ko ade nama x?
(02:25:58) michealcarrick@gmail.com: hihihihih
(02:26:09) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: nama yg diberi oleh ibubapa ko?
(02:26:13) michealcarrick@gmail.com: ak apis la
(02:26:15) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: hahah
(02:26:15) michealcarrick@gmail.com: ceh
(02:26:20) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: haha
(02:26:24) michealcarrick@gmail.com: nak drop la tu
(02:26:28) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: weh
(02:26:29) michealcarrick@gmail.com: apis carrick
(02:26:39) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: apis....
(02:26:48) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: aku ade 118 kwn nama apis
(02:26:56) michealcarrick@gmail.com: ceh
(02:27:02) amirulraz@gmail.com/Gaim: yg mne ek?
(02:27:09) michealcarrick@gmail.com: ceh
(02:27:11) michealcarrick@gmail.com: lupe kwn
(02:27:12) michealcarrick@gmail.com: ak la
(02:27:18) michealcarrick@gmail.com: apis from london
(02:27:21) michealcarrick@gmail.com: carrick

HiLaRY-
Hilary nih memang sgt ske sport...mmg sangt susah nk jumpe dier kt blik waktu riadah...kenangn yg ak ingt time kayak la...kayak ak pancit xmmpu nk troskn..dier ganti dak girl yg naek kayak ngn ak tuh...so jd laju la...and time jungle tracking...team kitrng sgt laju..so sesat dlm utan...Hilary lah cari jlan kuar time tu tah cmne...

Oldest conversation

me: hellocan i know who is this?me: wehade bilik kosong lain x?hah?kat v3?Hilary: ntah..ko dmna skrg?me: ....kat v1 a....Hilary: ko blum cek lagi ka?me: ari tu xde org....kat bilik tuh....Hilary: nnt ko pgi tnya kt v3 cafe utk check.




NasRol -
Kawan Civil ak dlu..rapat gile smpai skrng...entah la knape..ape yg best pasal dier ni..dier msti nk argue sume bende yg ak cakap..tu yg menarik tuh..dan dier ni msti asyik pikir sesuatu bende ke tahap sgat complex...yang mungkin tak dpat difahami manusia biasa...hak3 ..pastu ade je dier tacap petua itu ini.. . yang bagusnya dia ni..slalu nasihat ak yg slalu leka nih...

oldest conversation
mohamad: assalamualaikum

me: wsalammohamad: jom joggingme: Xmo3mohamad: jom dota

de berani ke?me: ...

IzHaM

Ni member study last minit ak...time dekat test n final exam mmg struggle sesame..walopon sblom ni xrapat sgat..tapi ikatan exam & test mengubahnya~~ .Sbab ade dier ni gak ak slalu gi masjid..klo x jumpe time jumaat jer la


So mungkin ak tambh lg kang...ni je terdetik di benak fikiran skrng....

::Happy Intern!Wish me Luck K::

NoboDy KnoWs wHo I'M:Part 1: the Begining of Do0msday

-So0RY , I'm jus7 no7 7h47 9o0D-


I'm born as normal person...i dont have any good looking attraction ..i'm not kind person who shine as genius.. i'm not even feeling i'm needed in this community ..all about me is just so plain...living in this so called sophisticated place makes me sometime wonder...what's the purpose i'm here ..does my existence even make difference to my surrounding ?....everything such a mess... but there is one thing for sure....my road was covered with blood and tears. I'm not born with everything-ready-to-learn ,everything that i have now...was all from tremendous pain and sacrifices ...maybe all start from this -----)

I'm taking Information , Communication and Technology course...in this engineering technology university .... most of engineering students see us as nobody ...and not even worth to exist compare to their engineering knowledge complexity... why is this happening...?we are here what we are now...do i need to remind you guys that we entered this university equally qualified ?why do you guys need to isolate us ? why ? why ? why?

i'm once think about this ..and at foundation , i did mentioned it to one of my IT expert senior...He smile and said to me

"Do you want want to learn what so called truth about your course in real life? OR all you want to spend here is forcing yourselves remembering notes,book and score ? "

i said...

"is it possible to go for both?"

"Nope...choices exist to be choose...and it is up to you to decide it"

"I think i'm prefer the first option"

"Then you need to be ready to walk to the hell with me"

what on earth is that suppose to mean ?did he ask me to commit suicide with him ?..i wonder....but then it just turn out it is even worse than that... It start with he introduced Linux to me...as everything about linux is so much pain...atleast for me to struggle alone...because after he teach me the basics...he ignore me and whenever i ask him , all he said was

"Go explore by yourselves"

I really hate that words..i'm not just linux newbie at that time...i also don't have any other alternative source to learn except from him...i don't care what perception that he thinks at that time about me...the only thing i do care ...is the fact that i can't care anything at all,as long as i gain the knowledge..then after i keep continue asking newbie questions to him...he then said

"It is not to late now to stop...all you need to do is just to delete everything i ever said to you from your memory..and go back to your real life"

i'm speechless ... i'm hopeless .... but atlease it make me realized that i need to depend everything on my shoulder..and no matter what...i'm not kind of person that easily give up ...

At that time , the download limit is 2mb...my IT department not just dumbass but also cruel and never think of behalf of student...what on earth can we use internet for if 2Mb is limit...even sometime lecture notes are bigger than that (PDF)....? i complained not because i want to download movie or what...but it is just that such a pain for me to update linux software..because most of it ofcourse bigger than 2mb....alteast no matter how brainless and heartless you are...set the limit to 10mb...even 8mb is still ok... but 2mb ???what's hell kind of internet in TecHnoLoGy university is that???

all i did to counter this situation was after i finished my foundation class...i went to library ..download software ...and it just seems like kind of duty going there everyday...and it happen to be i did it everyday ...

UNTILL ... i realized that...if i continue like this...i'm not only showing that i'm same such dumass and moron like them...but i'm giving up on learning to improve myself...so i figure it out why don't i explore about network....maybe it can help me somehow...atleast help to upgrade my linux software that obviously more than 2mb at my room...

(To Be ConTiNued)

..I wish U kno3 h0w mucH i Miss u...

I'm Might noT b3 r1gHt gUy that aBle To suIT U...
BuT

TheRe Is AlwaYs SomethinG i WanT to TeLL U...
BuT



TheRe is AlwaYs OneThing That I really Scare Of



SO




ThaT I LoV3 You~~