20 Things I Learned From being Tech Support (internship)

on Wednesday, October 21, 2009

  • 1.As long as the world turns, users will still have problems

  • 2.Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn't by chance

  • 3.When in doubt. Reboot

  • 4.Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words "backslash" or forgets to plug in the power cord. If you haven't yet, just wait, you will

  • 5.Fear the phone. No one just calls tech support to wish you good morning

  • 6.No user will tell you the whole truth at the beginning of a call

  • 7."I didn't do anything" or "It just happened" Are the users mantra

  • 8.As a support tech, it is your job to break down resistance and get the truth

  • 9.This is so you can rub the lie in their face, fixing the issue is just a perk

  • 10.Some people will never learn

  • 11.This means you will always have a job

  • 12.Maintain a calm voice, even if you're screaming on the inside

  • 13.The hold button is your friend

  • 14.Whatever you do, don't panic

  • 15.The answer to all users questions should be "Trust me, I know what I'm doing" even if this is a bald-faced lie

  • 16.Users can smell fear. Once you've lost control, all is lost

  • 17.A user who is not listening to you anymore, but rather is trying "their own thing" is not worth your time. Simulate a telephone disconnect and hang up. Trust me, you're better off.

  • 18.Sometimes fixing a computer is easier than figuring out why it was broken

  • 19.Users always want a reason things are fixed. If you're not sure just lie. They won't know anyway. "A stray electron passed through the processor and caused..."

  • 20.If possible ask to speak to the youngest person present
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