NoboDy KnoWs wHo I'M:Part 1: the Begining of Do0msday

-So0RY , I'm jus7 no7 7h47 9o0D-


I'm born as normal person...i dont have any good looking attraction ..i'm not kind person who shine as genius.. i'm not even feeling i'm needed in this community ..all about me is just so plain...living in this so called sophisticated place makes me sometime wonder...what's the purpose i'm here ..does my existence even make difference to my surrounding ?....everything such a mess... but there is one thing for sure....my road was covered with blood and tears. I'm not born with everything-ready-to-learn ,everything that i have now...was all from tremendous pain and sacrifices ...maybe all start from this -----)

I'm taking Information , Communication and Technology course...in this engineering technology university .... most of engineering students see us as nobody ...and not even worth to exist compare to their engineering knowledge complexity... why is this happening...?we are here what we are now...do i need to remind you guys that we entered this university equally qualified ?why do you guys need to isolate us ? why ? why ? why?

i'm once think about this ..and at foundation , i did mentioned it to one of my IT expert senior...He smile and said to me

"Do you want want to learn what so called truth about your course in real life? OR all you want to spend here is forcing yourselves remembering notes,book and score ? "

i said...

"is it possible to go for both?"

"Nope...choices exist to be choose...and it is up to you to decide it"

"I think i'm prefer the first option"

"Then you need to be ready to walk to the hell with me"

what on earth is that suppose to mean ?did he ask me to commit suicide with him ?..i wonder....but then it just turn out it is even worse than that... It start with he introduced Linux to me...as everything about linux is so much pain...atleast for me to struggle alone...because after he teach me the basics...he ignore me and whenever i ask him , all he said was

"Go explore by yourselves"

I really hate that words..i'm not just linux newbie at that time...i also don't have any other alternative source to learn except from him...i don't care what perception that he thinks at that time about me...the only thing i do care ...is the fact that i can't care anything at all,as long as i gain the knowledge..then after i keep continue asking newbie questions to him...he then said

"It is not to late now to stop...all you need to do is just to delete everything i ever said to you from your memory..and go back to your real life"

i'm speechless ... i'm hopeless .... but atlease it make me realized that i need to depend everything on my shoulder..and no matter what...i'm not kind of person that easily give up ...

At that time , the download limit is 2mb...my IT department not just dumbass but also cruel and never think of behalf of student...what on earth can we use internet for if 2Mb is limit...even sometime lecture notes are bigger than that (PDF)....? i complained not because i want to download movie or what...but it is just that such a pain for me to update linux software..because most of it ofcourse bigger than 2mb....alteast no matter how brainless and heartless you are...set the limit to 10mb...even 8mb is still ok... but 2mb ???what's hell kind of internet in TecHnoLoGy university is that???

all i did to counter this situation was after i finished my foundation class...i went to library ..download software ...and it just seems like kind of duty going there everyday...and it happen to be i did it everyday ...

UNTILL ... i realized that...if i continue like this...i'm not only showing that i'm same such dumass and moron like them...but i'm giving up on learning to improve myself...so i figure it out why don't i explore about network....maybe it can help me somehow...atleast help to upgrade my linux software that obviously more than 2mb at my room...

(To Be ConTiNued)